Television adverts drive me mad!

And the degree of irritation I feel at them seems to get more and more as I get older.

I’m not sure why! Partly, I think it’s because adverts used to be imaginative and amusing (well, at least some of them did). Now they’re just boring!

It’s not so bad on ordinary terrestrial television, like STV or Channel 4, at least the advert break only seems to last a couple of minutes. On some of the Sky channels though, such as Sky One, or UKTV Gold, the adverts are horrendous – with each break lasting at least 5 minutes.

I wouldn’t mind but I’m already paying through the nose to watch the Sky channels so it really seems a bit unfair that I should have to suffer such a huge amount of advertising too!

Just to give you an idea of what I mean, several weeks ago I watched an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation (yes, sad, I know!) and, in an hour’s episode, 15 minutes was taken up by adverts. That’s three five-minute breaks. That, surely, is second only to Classic FM for advert intrusion!

However, I’m pleased to say that adverts are now a thing of the past!

After months of gentle hints and pointed remarks, Hilary has finally consented to Sky+, and it arrived a couple of weeks ago. For once all the hype is correct: it is BRILLIANT.

It’s revolutionised the way we watch television. It means that programmes I would never have been around to watch, series that required a weekly commitment I could never give, films that are broadcast in the middle of the night, can all now be recorded at the push of a button, and I can watch them when it’s convenient for me.

But, the best thing about it is that it means I no longer have to watch adverts.

Obviously, when watching recorded programmes it’s easy enough to whiz through the adverts, just like with a VCR only faster, but the really brilliant thing, is that I can now do the same with live television.

The trick is either to start recording the programme you want to watch, or to put it on live pause when it starts, and then wait ten or fifteen minutes before actually starting to watch it. Then, when the adverts come, you can whiz through them at up to 30 times normal speed. Which means, if I’ve got my maths right, that the fifteen minutes of adverts in Star Trek The Next Generation would last only thirty seconds! A definite improvement!

I heard on the radio the other day that advertisers are beginning to get a bit uneasy about this, and there is talk of them pushing for a restriction on the speed Sky+ boxes and their Free View counterparts can fast forward.

If they succeed, then it may be time for another Downing Street petition!