I wish I hadn’t overheard a conversation between my humans the other day. I should just have blotted out their babble and carried on snoozing. But my ears pricked up at the mention of my name.

What were they praising me for this time? What exciting things were they planning? Was I going to get a special treat for tea?

None of the above sadly. They were discussing prison! (or in human speak “kennels”. Yes. my humans are going away for a few days next month – without me or Monty- and we are being dispatched to prison!

I had high hopes that they would fail to find somewhere to accept us, given that it is school holiday time , and I have already been banned from a local prison due to my demanding behaviour in the past, but sadly, after a few phone calls they managed to secure reservations for us. We are going to separate prisons this time, me to a dog one and Monty to a cat one. Hmm. Would be a lot more interesting if we swopped and I got to go to stay with all the cats, although I doubt I would fit in the small sized cell!

Hilary tried to tell me it would be exciting and it was somewhere new, with lots of other dogs to bark at but I am not fooled. It is prison. I will just have to spend my time plotting how to get revenge on my humans when I get released. Some high class mischief is called for…..