I had a great morning today! In the space of less than two hours I manage to chase, catch and eat a rabbit, get absolutely soaked and really smelly in the ditch on my walk, make Tim’s car and the Rectory small of stagnant water again and, into the bargain, totally annoy Tim. It was brilliant!

It all started fairly normally. Well, actually, not all that normally because Tim fed the cat this morning. That hardly ever happens – I think he doesn’t really agree with feeding cats, but this morning he had to because Hilary was away. I said not to bother, he’s only a cat after all, but Tim said he would have to otherwise Hilary would be upset! He pretended to do it happily, but deep down I think he didn’t really want to – and I’m sure I heard him muttering something about the ‘A90’ and ‘roadkill’ – whatever that is!

Anyway, off we went on my walk – and, within seconds of being released from my shackle (they call it a lead) I’d managed to catch a rabbit! I ran along with it proudly squealing in my mouth to show Tim. But he wasn’t impressed and told me to drop it – which I did! It was great fun! The rabbit didn’t know which way to go – it kept running backwards and forwards, so really, the kindest thing to do was to catch it again. So I did! and ran off with it.

Tim just carried on walking, so I decided to leave the rabbit for a bit to ‘mature’ and went to cool off in the ditch. It had been a hard morning so far, and I was really hot! I jumped in with a splash and sank to my shoulders in the lovely smelly mud underneath the water. Tim muttered something I didn’t catch, but I don’t think it was very complimentary! So, instead of getting out, I ran along the stream for a while – getting even wetter and muddier and smellier. That really upset Tim – which made it even more fun!

After that, I behaved myself for a bit, so that Tim would relax and then, on the way back, I went to get my ‘maturing’ rabbit and ran off into a field of crops that were taller than me, to have my breakfast.

Tim pretended to ignore me and kept walking! I think he thought I would give up and follow soon if he just kept going!

Wrong! I had a whole rabbit to eat.

Eventually, after he’d got all the way to the car, Tim came back to look for me – but I was still in the field, and he couldn’t get to me without damaging the crops so he just stood in the lane and shouted at me. I totally ignored him, of course – it was a great game, although Tim didn’t look very happy. I think maybe he was upset because he hadn’t had any breakfast and I didn’t let him eat any of my rabbit. But it was mine – if he was that hungry, let him catch his own rabbit!

Anyway, eventually I finished and I went over to Tim whereupon he put my shackle on straight away and muttered something I didn’t quite hear, again.

Then it was off home in the car – and Tim told me that since I’d eaten a whole rabbit, I needn’t think I was getting any more breakfast – which, I must say, I thought was a bit mean!

But, as it happened, I managed to get my own back quite brilliantly a bit later.

Just as Tim had finished making his breakfast and was about to sit down for a big feed I very cleverly brought up half the rabbit (the offal and intestines and things) right next to him.

The look on his face was quite spectacular!

PS Sorry Clare, hope you’re not trying to eat your breakfast!