I was browsing the internet this afternoon and found this, My female human thought it was funny and might amuse you all!

HOW TO PREPARE FOR A PUPPY

Pour cold apple juice on the carpet in several places and walk around barefoot in the dark.

Throw a few socks in the blender to shred the toes.

Wake an hour before your normal time. Stand outside in the rain and dark saying, “Be a good puppy, go potty now – hurry up – come on, let’s go!”

Cover all your best clothes with hair. Dark clothes must use white hair, light clothes must use dark.

Float some hair in your first cup of coffee in the morning.

Play catch with a wet tennis ball.

Run out in the snow/rain to close the gate.

Tip over a basket of clean laundry, scatter clothing all over the floor.

Leave your underwear on the living room floor because that’s where the puppy will drag it anyway … especially when company is coming.

Jump out of your chair right before the end of your favorite TV program and run to the door shouting, “No, No!! Do that outside!”

Put chocolate pudding on the carpet in the morning. Don’t try to clean it up until evening.

Gouge the legs of the dining room table – several times – with a screwdriver.

Take a warm and cuddly blanket out of the dryer and wrap it around yourself. This is the feeling you will get when your puppy falls asleep on your lap.