I’ve moved! I’m now a Dunfermline Dog! It’s very exciting. I’ve got a new house and a garden of my very own. AND, the worm has turned for Monty the cat. He’s now not allowed out . . . and I am. I can go out on my own into my garden – and he has to watch through the window!

Ha! serves you right, Monty.

Apparently my female human is scared that he’ll get lost if he goes out too soon after moving. As for my mean male human . . . well, you could replace the word ‘scared’ with the word ‘hopes’ in my last sentence and that would be nearer the truth!

Although, I have to say, my male human got a bit lost yesterday when I took him out for his walk. We went on a very exciting new walk in a place called Duloch Park. There were lots and lots of paths, all going in different directions. After a while my male human got a bit disorientated. I knew where we were, of cousre as I have a superior sense of smell, but he didn’t believe me. All was well though as his new mobile has a GPS receiver on it – so he could work out where he was. Very clever!!

Anyway, the best thing about the new walk was that there was loads and loads of mud. Sometimes my legs disappeared completely – and I got absolutely covered in the stuff. It was brillilant. In fact, in some places someone had put some wooden decking up over the mud. Obviously so that namby pamby humans wouldn’t get their feet muddy. Since I’m a big brave dog though, I completely ignored this, and went through the mud anyway. It was great – except Tim made a big fuss and wiped my down at least four times before I was allowed into the house. Even then, I was consigned to the kitchen for ages! How mean!

I got revenge though by leaving great big patches of mud on the kitchen floor. It was so bad (well, good really, but the humans thought it was bad) that Tim actually had to wash the floor . . . and he hardly ever does that!